lol okay, to anyone except Kiowa (question above)

I think making the effort is really sweet. Taking the time to get somewhere nice for your date to go and SIT and actually getting her there on time really makes a difference. People who think that sort of thing is corny are too picky.

But serenading is overdoing it, I think.

Going to the pictures is nice, though! Hope it's a good movie. Too bad you can't even see your date. What if you asked out a ninja and she left in the middle of the picture?

You'd never know till the lights turned back on.

unless you had your arm around her

let me complete the sentence Ben....
unless you had your arm around her neck

^ What a cruel person. :3

Replacement Justsu time!

in a loving manner .... not in a cruel manner

^ Sick.

what ?

^ You in particular saying that just made me have a really bad mental picture. Egh...

Ninja-chop your hand off.

you never know what to expect ....

lol Mr Wish is gonna be all alone in his adult years, or in prison for murder

Noooooooooo (echo! )

i think its so much better when guys make stuff. or write you heartfelt letters. im a sucker for it. the other stuff (candy, flowers, dinner at a restaruant, etc) is all so predictable. write me a letter, make me sumthin at home, and lets hang around in our sweats and watch a good movie. sounds good to me.

so I really like a girl. And of course have no clue whether she likes me or not, and I know she is used to getting attention from guys so that makes it difficult to tell whether she is just really nice or might possibly like me. I feel like i have a shot with her when im with her, cause she has done things like came up and sat next to me and then when I left to go get napkins she stole some of my food(now i know most friends will do that anyways). And she has told me that we're gonna hang out this summer and I get along well with her. But the thing is like if I text her, all her answers are extremely short, and the only communication between us when we arent together with our friends is if I initiate it. So I know girls like to play hard to get sometimes when they like you, but dont you think they would slip up every once in a while, and show it, like texting back more than a one word answer such as "cool".

So thats my rambling, there really isnt enough there to really convey the relationship i have with her, but if any of you girls have any clue if that could possibly be her just playin hard to get or if she is just being nice. Any thing would help. lol hope thats not all too confusing. thanks though

I think this is a little more universal than just girls ansswering, but...

Remember a few months ago I posted a question? No?
http://www.switchfoot.com/community/index....=623&st=200

Well anyway, I guess when I got a facebook my sister reported to my parents or something that there's this girl I like, so now they're indirectly interrogating me about her, you know, like,

"Sooo, [derrelient], who're you taking to the [JROTC] military ball next year??
Me: I dunno, probably no one...
mom: what about that [Girl]??"
or...
"So, who was that who said 'Hi' to you the other day?
Me: [girl's name]
mom: ohh, she's nice... HMM?
Me: uhh, yeah...?""

Etc.
So is it just me? What should I do?
I suspect that anything I do (keep talking to her, not talk to her, etc) will all have untold side-effects that would cause 10x more suspicion no matter what I do.

And know that my parents are the "Z0mg! Other gender! Teh evul gurl trying 2 steel mai son!!"

Well, what's your question?


I'd continue to talk to her unless your parents specifically say they don't want you to talk to her or whatever. You don't want to push this girl away if you like her.

switchfootstyle - when you are with her, does she give you the sly eye? as in, look at you from the corner of her eye, and smile? does she find reasons to touch you or be close to you when you are with her? i would say that she may not talk much to you when you're not together bc you dont talk to her, but since you text her, it honestly could be as simple as she doesnt really like to text, so that could be why they are short.

I guess ill have to see if she does that at all when im with her next, i honestly cant say either way on the looks and smiles. And the touch part no, she is one of those girls that gets alot of attention from guys and Ive only actually been with her a few times, and when were together its always with her best friend and at least one other guy and so those two girls always stick to each other like glue. So as of right now, besides just knowing she likes me as a friend I really dont know if there is any other possible feelings. I know she likes me as a friend alot because she thinks im really funny and specifically made it a point to tell me we were gonnna hang out soon(i never asked her if we were, she just told me). Thats where my hope in the situation comes from. And I talked to ally which is one of my closest girlfriends and the girl i likes best friend and ally has no idea on the matter. I figured girls like to talk alot, especially about the subject of boys and if my name hasnt been brought up between them my guess is thats not the best sign lol. I guess one other thing, about texting, she may not like to that much, but i figure if i text her once a day that should keep her interest up, if she has any in me right? Or do you think that I could get really annoying by doing that. I havent done it everyday, but Im just wondering if that could get annoying at all?

Wow thats alot of rambling. Im sorry for so much, I just write alot when Im on a subject I really care for. And thanks for all the help. Oh and my name is Tony, nice to meet you Brittney and thanks for your help.

^I think it sounds like for now she just likes you as a friend. and that's not a bad thing! Her feelings could change over time.
If you guys are friends I'm sure she won't mind you texting her whenever. I don't think I'd text her once a day just to keep her interested. If you have something to say to her that's fine but that's just my opinion.

i would say what melissa say, even though i'm not a girl. Chances are, if she's being entertained by a lot of guys right now, she's probably weighing her options with you in mind. As in, she's considering you, but if she has every other guy lined up in front of her, she's gotta make a decision.

I would just like to say that if she only answers with one word like cool, it could be a sign that she doesn't like to be text that much or that she's busy, so if I were you I would only text her when you have something important to say to her, like Melissa said. cos otherwise she could start to find it annoying. but it is a very good sign that she told you she want to spend time with you! And it is the perfect season for it too

hey tony, great to e-meet ya!
yes, im with the others on this, definitely do NOT text everyday, that would get annnoying for almost anyone. but if you have something cool to tell her, or something like that, but sometimes its good for the guy to play hard to get a little too.

hey tony! i'm laura.

and i also agree with brittany.
there's no way for us to really tell if she likes you or not. she might.
just dont get too excited. just let it happen. whatever it might be.

again, i agree not to text too much. you might seem desperate or something.
also, in my opinion, the guy should start the relationship.

tony your problem sounds the same as mine, except that i'm a girl and so the problem is with my guy friend. and i'm just as confused as you so i wouldn't know how to answer. sigh. anyway i'm desiree, hello!

P.S. I just wanted to add in a bit of unsolicited advice for guys, because something irked me yesterday. guys, don't even put your hand on a girl's shoulder unless you know she's comfortable with it!! i shrink away at being in contact with guys in general, and my guy friend annoyed me yesterday by keeping his hand on the back of my shoulder while we were going down a few steps. i'm like, what on earth? i can walk thanks! grr, sorry, just complaining here 'cause i'd feel stupid complaining to anyone else about it.

^^^sometimes its an unconscious thing guys do, especially when you're going down stairs, thru crowds, things like that. they just want to make sure you're safe! and they really dont mean anything by it at all, especially not sexual.

90% of the guys i know do that, and i'll bet 90% of them dont think about it when they are doing it.

i think its very gentlemanly, myself.

You could politely confront your parents and ask them why they are so interested if you aren't even going out. I would keep talking to her.

!switchfootstyle!- Maybe if you wanted you could ask her if she thought you were being annoying and apologize if she thought you were and explain that you weren't trying to be. It does sound more like she just wants to be friends right now but sometimes if she doesn't talk much she might not know what to say because she doesn't want to say something stupid or the wrong thing in front of you. Just don't lose hope.

Wow guys, thanks for the advice! you guys rock. Ill keep everything in mind. If anything changes i will let you guys know.

i strongly disagree with that. I think it truly doesn't matter, and it's not fair to put the pressure on the guys for EVERYTHING. Think of all they have to do-open doors, be courteous and polite, not fight back-and that's just all the stuff to do being polite. To be in a relationship, they generally end up paying most of the bill, they generally end up driving her everywhere. And to be serious, they have to propose to her (which is worse than everything combined). Please don't generally say that guys should start the relationship.

And as another point, what if the guy doesn't like the girl enough to go out? It's not fair to you girls either, because you'll be waiting for him to ask you out and he never will.

Pft. I don't see YOU wearing three inch heels!

Also, if you think about it modernly, I do all that stuff as well - I realize that other girls can't be bothered, but I never feel right closing the door in somebody's face, nor wearing my hat indoors...and certainly not being rude or inhospitable to people. Well, certain people. It's not as if I don't want to fight back, but it ruins your image and makes everyone think you're violent and out of control.

If anybody would be more motivated or inspired to start a relationship with somebody who puts up with just as much, if not more, flack then you do, I figured it'd be the guy - simply because a person like me would be far more interested in other things to wonder about the strange creature called 'boy'. But that's me, and I realize I don't act like most girls until it comes to exaggeration.

^I agree, but seriosuly starting a relationship is like the only thing guys have to do. (besides being polite) I mean we have to do all the other hard work. (giving birth, wearing make-up, having a period, Always look nice etc.) And we also have to be polite. But it's not like the guy have to start everything, the girl has the show him that she is interested too. But to ask someone out on the first date should in my opinion be the guy. Is that really too much to ask for?

^

In other words,

Be a man!

We have enough on our hands being women. Frankly, wearing the pants as well is not something I want to tamper with.

^ haha exactly!

If we guys make a list of all the things we've to take care of;it wouldn't fit in here!

hah! name five that are worse than the ones i gave!

really? 5 is not enough !!
I'll post 'em .......with a long explanation too in here


ideal ?

(A Twist :-.)
But we love it
So yeah we are able to put up with *'em*

Or atleast we try to...

^ Sorry, I don't know what you're saying.

nothing strange in there....

the thing is live with it rather than complaining....applies to both!

^ So what's your point?

you're not going to get *the point* i guess ...

*sigh* I'll just wait for you to say something that makes sense, then.

I applaud you. You seriously rock my socks off.

Girls, step up and stop complaining. Jeez. Oh, heaven forbid we should actually have to ask a guy out! GASP! The world may explode if we do!

Seriously. Pathetic. And don't complain about wearing makeup or heels. Is it illegal to NOT wear them? Cause if it is, I'm so screwed. (As I type, I am barefoot, wearing boys shorts and a tanktop, and if I remember the contents of my bathroom correctly, there is no makeup in there.)

So grow up and step up. Yipes. We're not living in the dark ages, people.

^ Wow. So tell me, when WAS the last time you asked a boy out? When was the last time a boy asked you out? You seem to be an expert with being so rough about it.

It all depends on whether you give half a darn or not. No guy has ever even tried to approach me (unless they want to try the inevitable pick-up), so it's not a matter of complaining. I'm not interested enough to bother - I haven't seen anything that I like yet and probably won't for about ten years.

I believe you're being overly judgemental of your own sex and exaggerating what we mean. Sure, I'll admit that I'm shy, I don't like being embarased to the point of wishing the world WOULD explode, but if a guy wants to be dominant in that relationship, it's sure not going to happen from me taking the first step - besides, my dad would crush him. I'm not a leader-sort-of-person, if you get what I mean. I touch on things with a ten-foot pole until I get used to them.

So step up, if you like. I really don't mind...because I'm not the one doing it. I like being a square, the guys will just have to put up with it.

Hey! DerRelienT! I SEE YOU! Get back to work!

^True true. I haven't asked a boy out, nor have any asked me out...cause frankly, I don't care. But...I listen to my friend who changes boyfriends every three weeks or so all the time, so I get more than enough boy drama.

I will admit, I'm in the mood to be overdramatic...there were some people two days ago that drove me up the wall. "I broke a nail!" etc...Suck it up, you're working with horses, nails break when you do that.

Back to the point...Alright, I'm being rather harsh, but from my experience, that's how some girls treat it. Like something's going to go horribly wrong if they ask the guy out. Like their grandmother's going to die or something. Really.

I had something else I was going to say now...what was it...so yeah, some girls aren't going to step up, and that's fine, but what drives me nuts is the girls who complain about it. "so-and-so hasn't asked me out yet, I'm so worried he doesn't like me..." please, get up and ask him if you're so worried about it. This isn't the 1800's, when guys had to come ask your dad for permission to even talk to you. Alright? A little effort, people. It's not that hard.

Again, no personal experience...I don't have time to deal with boy drama. But I also happen to know that the afore mentioned friend asked pretty much all of her boyfriends out the first time. So I know it can be done.

the difference is, boys have the choice to take you out for a nice dinner, movie, etc. and pay for it all or not. Girls don't have the choice of things like giving birth, or having a period. And you can't expect the guys to do those things either (for obvoius reasons )
And to be honest, guys don't care about whether you wear makeup or not, i think the more you look around, you'll find that girls do it more for themselves and for other girls than to impress boys deep down.

And girls, whats the big deal with girls asking guys out? as long as i've lived i never knew there was some sort of rule for that-just if you like the person, you ask them out.


thank you. like i said, girls, you have a choice to do all that extra stuff. The thing is, slamming a door in a girls face vs. leaving it open for them is a little worse than girls choosing to wear regular shoes instead of high heels, or not wearing makeup. I mean, look presentable, but really, guys like natural beauty much more 9 out of 10 times.

Ha ha, oh. I see what you mean. A lot of times I treat those situations the same way I treat my sketchbook (yes, I realize you shouldn't do this, but it's better then living with it), I tear out the page when I start to worry too much about the drawing. Too much worry just leads to nervous [rotten] sketching. And I've found it's the same with people. If I don't feel comfortable around them from the start, there's no way it's going to get better (unless you become part of the scenery). Of course, I don't 'rip them out', but they become too much of a source of stress for me to bother. Not lazy, just careful.

Friends are super high-maintnance. I can't imagine what a boyfriend would be.


When it comes down to it, the only reason I wouldn't is because it's a very strange concept to me. No is no. Maybe when they get to know me better, but not right off.

^yeah. i agree. I don't think i'd ever ask a guy out unless i knew them pretty well. And even then i don't know but that's probably just cause of me and my personality. I'm often really quiet and kinda shy especially around people i don't know well.

Well I don't feel comfortable asking a guy out because I would feel too manly.. Yes you heard me, Manly! For me it is something boys should do.. And for us shy girls it would be too much to first of all actually ask the question and then maybe get a rejection. It would destroy me, guys are much stronger, right!?

yeah but if that's repeated that strong heart breaks
Nah! One rejection and *krrrrk* it breaks !

And girls will always come up with "Hey remember,you asked me out "
And the Guy " Uhh oh!

^I really like your avi joanna!

my friend has told me 3 or so times now that I should ask his brother out. His brother never speaks! at least not to me or anyone else besides nic. I'd rather ask nic out. Except he's dating my friend. so obviously there's nothing really wrong with it except that i'm not comfortable doing it and traditionally that's been the guys job so i'll just let them have it.

and this answers everything :-
traditionally that's been the guys job so i'll just let them have it.